Buy that Jerk a Beer

We need terrible people. Don’t try to make them better.

I was at a fast food place yesterday (one that has a lot of meat and not a lot of anything else), and the guy taking my order started out well enough, asking the two other people that I was with what they wanted. The first ordered a sandwich combo, the second ordered the same thing, and when it was my turn he looked at me and said “make my job easy, order the same thing”. Now that may not sound automatically terrible, but he wasn’t kidding. He was asking me to forgo my choice so that his job (which I don’t think is too incredibly stressful) could be easier. And you know what, that sandwich looked good so I got it. Later, one of my friends was asking for potato cakes instead of curly fries (okay fine it was Arby’s) and the guy asked him if he wanted a small, medium or large. My friend said small and the guy tried to up sell him, telling him how it wasn’t that much more money and how he could probably afford to splurge a bit (does this guy even benefit from selling 90 cents more fries anyway?). My friend pointed out that it was a matter of fat, not money and the guy looks him up and down and says “yeah, thats a good call”.

Now my friend is a really nice guy so he just laughed it off, but the Arby’s guy was pretty rude in my opinion, especially for someone who’s job it is to serve us. (And I’ll have you know I did NOT ring the bell as I was leaving) Later, as we were eating, the guy got off his shift and sat down at a table near us with some of his friends, and they were all jerks too. From what they were talking about, it sounded like they spent a lot of time together and a few of them might even live together. As I listened more and more I began to feel thankful for this guys jerky friends for occupying a lot of his jerk time. While his and other’s jerkyness may spill out into the world sometimes, I appreciate when they hang out with other jerks and let it all out on each other instead of me.

We need jerks so that the other jerks can have someone to hang out with and understand them. In a perfect world no one would be rude to others, but we all know that is impossible. In fact, you have probably been rude to a stranger in the last week, maybe without even knowing it. I do not wish for jerks to disappear or even for rudeness to leave our society. I only wish that those jerks find other jerk friends to hang out with and stay the heck away from me.

Jerks of a feather stick together.